celebrity evil survivor
by axle732
Summary: a hopfully good fanfic about the S.T.A.R.S and B.R.A.V.O teams going on survivor with a bunch of characters from tv shows an celebritys well enjoy
1. the evil plot

CELEBRITY EVIL chap#1 the evil plot  
  
(i don't own this this is not mine don't get any ideas) this is my first fanfic so enjoy sorry in advance for this rosie o'dannell............... hehehe yeah right f*ck off b*tch! nothing else to report yet...... now on with it..............  
  
Characters --------------- Barry Burton --------------- Chris Redfield --------------- Jill Valentine --------------- Rebecca Chambers --------------- Albert Wesker --------------- Brad Vickers --------------- Joseph Frost --------------- Richard Aiken --------------- Enrico Marini --------------- Forest Speyer --------------- Kenneth J. Sullivan --------------- Edward Dewey(chopper pilot of the bravo teams chopper) --------------- Evil Guys (just evil guys from nowhere) --------------- MR.Important(hehehe) --------------- Celebritys --------------- WEIRD AL YANKOVIC (that cool guy that doesn't write music any more) --------------- rosie o'dannell (the fat blob) --------------- britney spears (the fake boobed chick that thinks she can sing) --------------- Silent Bob (from j and silent bob strike back,dogma and lots more) --------------- Shigeru Miyamoto(creator of nintendo ) --------------- Kenny (also from south park if he has a last name tell me) --------------- Laura Croft (from tomb raider who doesn't know laura!?) --------------- Tweak (from south park if he has a last name tell me at axle732@yahoo.com) --------------- steven segul (that asshole that hired two guys to beat up his wife ) -------------- Guest Stars --------------- O*** --------------- R** Z***** --------------- scene#1: umbrella.Inc. place an umbrella Inc. guy(evil guy#1 aka E/G#1 and some dumb ass from survivor (E/G#2) are there talking  
  
head guy of umbrella Inc.(E/G#1): September in a city called racoooooon city zombies attacked and went crazy in this mansion guess what its the perfect place for survivor  
  
guy from survivor (E/G#2 ):who will we invite into it  
  
E/G#1:hhmmmmmmm the people from the last 20 survivors?  
  
E/G#2:nope there dead  
  
E/G#2:how  
  
E/G#1:they ate at arbies  
  
E/G#2:*shudders* hhhh eewwww  
  
E/G#1:i know  
  
E/G#1:lets see hhmmm...how bout celebritys  
  
E/G#2:*raises a brow*do we have to pay them?  
  
E/G#1:no we'll let the zombies kill them *laughs evilly*  
  
E/G#2:yeah who will miss them!?  
  
E/G#1:okay lets see.......how about those guys written under celebritys up at the top of the page? *points up at the top of the page*  
  
E/G#2:yeah and we could use the S.T.A.R.S. members too.we don't need them(S.T.A.R.S. Stupid.Team.Of.All.Retarded.Specialist's  
  
E/G#1:okay and we'll have two guest stars O*** and R** Z*****  
  
Together:YEAH!  
  
*the scen fades out with them laughing evily and into the next day at the R.P.D(racooooooncity.police.dept.)everyone is there but the TWO GEUST STARS.........  
  
Everyone:blah blah blah blah blah blah  
  
Weird Al Yankovic(Al):hey lets get naked with some hot ladys!  
  
Everyone but Barry,steven,britney,rosie,jill rebecca shigeru,laura,and silent bob who just throws his arms in the air and starts to run out the door:YEAH!  
  
Rebecca:whats wrong wit you guys why do you alway just wanna get naked with some hot ladys?  
  
Everyone but the people who i listed before:SHUT UP YOU LESBIAN!  
  
Rebecca:I'M NOT A LESBIAN!  
  
Everyone but those people i listed:sure whatever you say  
  
Jill:takes a step closer to Rebecca  
  
Rebecca:i'm not a lesbian jill!  
  
*all of a sudden Mr.Important walks in everyone quiets down*  
  
Mr.Important(Mr.I):sooooo......we are all here right?  
Al:yeah we're all here!  
  
Kenny:hermy herm humm hermy humm humm  
  
Mr.I:uuhhmmm.....no but if you look under file page 459 section b number 8 it says you get as much tuna as you can hold  
  
Kenny:*cheers and runs off set and comes back looking very lumpy and holding as much tuna as he can*  
  
Mr.I:then.*but shigeru interupts*shigeru: Mr.I:oka...*shigeru starts to yell like crazy* shigeru:*yells in japenese*  
  
Mr.I:could someone calm down Mr.miyamoto?  
  
steven segul(steven):*pulls out his phone and calls the guys he hired to beat up his wife*  
  
Mr.I:uh there is no need for that Mr.segul *pulls out a gun and shoots segul in the head and a band of flying monkeys take him away* Mr.I:now that thats done with  
  
*two guys in lab coats with umbrella logos on them run in and inject miyamoto with tranquilizer knocking him out and they drag him away*  
Mr.I:okay...that was fun.....lets just go now........  
  
announcer: end of this chap reviews please! depending on the reviews i might not write another so review review review 


	2. another guest star?

CELEBRITY EVIL chap#2 another geust star!? (i don't own this this is not mine don't get any ideas)  
  
this is my first fanfic so enjoy  
  
if i get any speical reviews i'll post them otherwise hold your breath untill you pass out on the floor try it works!  
  
uhhmmm well thats all on with this parody  
  
scene#1 everyone is in a giant troop chopper being carried to the mansion Mr.I is talking  
  
Mr.I:OKAY WE ARE GOING TO THE MANSION TODAY FOR SURVIVOR YOU ALL GET A GUN WITH ONE CLIP OF AMMO THERE ARE RULES YOU CAN"T LEAVE OR BURN DOWN THE HOUSE YOU CAN KILL WHO EVER YOU WANT  
  
*at the sound of this everyone aims at rosie o'dannell*  
  
Mr.I:BUT NOT UNTIL WE GET TO THE MANSION!  
  
*everyone but rosie awww man*  
  
Mr.I:WHEN WE LAND WELL GIVE EVERYONE A CAMERA TO RECORD WHATEVER YOU WANT IF AT ANY TIME YOU HAVE A PROBLEM CLIMB ONTOP OF THE ROOF AND JUMP OFF CUZ WERE NOT GOING TO HELP OR SAVE YOU IN ANYWAY  
  
*they continue talking on for about 5 more seconds when a fist fight bursts out for no apparent reason and the chopper pilot is knocked out of the chopper and lands in a pit of snakes too bad for him the fall didn't kill him and he was slowly gumed to death for they were toothless snakes the chopper flew on until Al noticed they had no pilot and it started to crash and landed right infront of the mansion killing Mr.I no one else was hurt becuse they landed on rosie and had a reather smelly but nice flight to the ground  
  
scene#2 they are all standing infront of the spooky mansion it is now night time i don't know how it was 9:00a.m. when they left  
  
roise:now that i saved you i should lead us  
  
everyone but rebecca who didn't want to kill rosie remembers that they can kill rosie now whip out there guns and blow her fat ass away  
  
rebecca:why did you just waste all of your ammo on rosie o,dannell when we need as much as we can get to kill the zombies not that i know that the living dead are walking around and even if i did we wouldn't have enough ammo to kill any of them but thats saying it takes a set amount of shots  
  
everyone had gotten bored by the time she said waste and walked into the mansion  
  
scene#3everyone is in the mansion and looking around Al has a busted lip and shegiru is half dead from the beating he got from silent bob and laura gave him,kenneh wander out into the dieing i mean dining room and was being attacked by a group of zombies who draged him away into the other room where he was in the game yet no one herd him yelling in pain as the zombies ate him oh yeah britney had a bad landing to one of her fake boobs fell out and now is logded in kennys mouth who is chokeing and stumbleing around the room  
  
kenny:*stumbles into oj simpson who stabs him in the back right away everyone turns and yells hey its oj aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!(yup oj is the 3rd geust star!)  
  
oj:mabey i did mabey i didn't i'm gunna go find out*and runs ups stairs and away from veiw*  
  
rebbecca:what wait what is oj doing in this spooky mansion?  
  
*jill who was turned on by this moves closer to rebecca and starts feeling her up*  
  
rebecca:JILL! I'M NOT A LESBIAN!  
  
jill:so what mabey your bi  
  
rebecca:......get away from me!  
  
edward:i wander if there are any suppilies in the chopper  
  
enrico:yeah and what about our cameras!  
  
edward and enrico bent on getting the prize (not saying there is one) wip them into a frenzed mob and send them out to get the suppiles and camras but they forgot about the dogs! dun!dun!dun! all of the S.T.A.R.S and bravo team memmbers but....jill rebecca chris enrico edward and brad whos laying in a bush bleeding  
  
brad:help me!  
  
jill:*pushes her head into rebecca chest and starts fake crying so that she can be there(hehehe)*oh why did he have to die  
  
brad:I'm not dead! the dogs just tore me to pieces! help me i need a medic Rebecca help me!  
  
Rebecca:only if he hadn't had that kill me sign painted on his jacket  
  
Albert:yeah.....*pushes a can of paint under a bush*  
  
brad:no come here I'm over here I'll be okay if you sew on my arms and give me some herbs  
  
Barry:gets bored and trys to turn Chris on by belly dancing  
  
Chris:*walks inside and sees a type writer*aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!*runs over rubbing it all over *yeessss my baby yeeesssss *starts humping it but gets his (cough)stuck in it and starts running around the room*aaaaahhh my(cough)help me my (cough)is stuck in the type writer!! aaahhh!  
  
Rebecca:oh no not again*trys to run away but Jill is rubbing uhhmm..let me say herself up and down rebeccas leg*cut that out Jill!!!!!!!!!!!*starts shaking Jill around trying to get her off but she just holds on tighter*  
  
*RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
Chris:AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY (cough)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rebecca:*eyes widen*oh my god......  
  
Jill:slids down her leg wide eyed also stairing at the door  
Chris:*burst through the doors blood pureing from where his(cough)was right away he trips over brad who gave up and was trying to get a dog over to him,falls on top of him and stops screaming*oh hi brad i thought you were dead  
  
brad:.........  
  
Chris:*forgets about his(cough)calls everyone over to help brad*  
  
brad:thank god!  
  
axle:oh don't thank me hehehehe  
  
brad:okay fuck you bitch  
  
axle:WHAT!!!!  
  
brad:just testing  
  
axle:oh okay then i have to get back to writing this parody  
  
brad:okay  
  
(now that I'm not a char anymore i can write again see they can't see this what I'm typeing now get it? well if you don't ....hold your breath until you pass out on the floor)  
  
Barry:*fell asleep while he was dancing Jill forgot what she was doing and put her clothing on Rebecca cleaned her leg off Chris totaly forgot about his (cough) everyone forgot about brad and left him outside they went back inside and saw tweak freaking out britney is crying silent bob is yelling like a monkey hold an empty box of matches and a box of cigarettes lets see.....shegiru is curled up in a ball in the corner crying and sucking his thumb Laura is laying on the ground with a hole stabbed in her back and oj standing over her and Al,enrico,and Edward are playing with a taser*  
oj:looks around tweak runs past screaming "the underpants knomes are undead!"  
  
Rebecca:oj did you kill *oj interrupts*  
  
oj:i didn't do it but maybe i did i think I'm gunna go find out *runs away again*  
  
Jill:* is chasing a zombie trying to make (sweeeeeeeeet love)a"relationship with it"*  
  
Al:*zaps Edward*ahahah! take that!  
  
*Edward,Al,and,enrico all have black marks from where they shocked each other*  
  
Chris:hey now that we have the supplies and the cameras what do you think we should do Rebecca?  
  
albert:you should all eat this *holds out a chewed piece of gum with needles and pills sticking out of it*  
  
Al:ALRIGHT!GUM*runs over and bites the gum right off Albert hand and swallows it whole and continues to lick Albert hand*  
  
Albert:.......*stands there*.............he....hehe......hehehehe.........  
  
*tweak runs through*aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!they've got them i need some coffee! ah!!!!  
  
scene continues Jill catches the zombie and gets really nasty with it silent bob passes out shaking from lack of tobacco britneys other boob falls out and oj slips on it and stabs her to death and runs away tweak is sitting in the corner freaking out Rebecca falls asleep and Chris stands gourd at the front door the whole time brad was scratching at the door saying that there was a beakless bird pecking him to death Barry found a good friend with one of the tasers and dashed off with it him yelping explains enough Al,enrico,and Edward found a pack of cards and are playing poker (Edward cheats) Albert still standing there with the flesh from his hand licked off everyone falls asleep after a while but Albert who stands there holding his hand out  
  
END CHAP#2 R/R please! i know not much of an ending for this chap 


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